The Emergency Off-Ramp of Ambition

Ambition is an interesting monster in my mind [i think that statement can be interpreted a number of valid ways]. I find it fascinating that it’s listed as a sin to be wary of (Galatians 5:20, Phillipians 2:3, James 3:16)—as if God doesn’t want achievers or visionaries on his team. It’s intriguing to me because I associate ambition (a bad thing) with creation (a good thing), something that in my thinking, represents Him most clearly. I still believe that all creation (the world, solar system, universe) points to Him as Creator.

Perhaps this is a partial explanation: in our ambition we usurp His rightful place as preeminent in our lives. Subtly, we slowly crawl atop the thrones of our building to steer intentions, machinations and outcomes in ways that benefit only us or those we love. We make things not about us, about us. We work for ourselves as independent contractors. We secede to our own team, for our own reasons, to do our own things to benefit ourselves.

So why doesn’t God want achievers and visionaries on his team?

This blog is my attempt at self answer and as such, I think it’s because they steal the Glory due him. Whether the style or method is in the form of a child’s tantrum (“But I WANT it!”) or in the form of hard work (“I’m going to MAKE it happen”), ultimately the expectation is always there: I deserve this and will do what’s necessary to get it in my life. I think, in my experience, that’s best called an idol.

As always, it takes a moment to see into God’s heart and look past the rule, the ordinance, the structure of His saying “NO” to some area of our lives and understand that, somehow, such strictures are for our benefit. His commandments are not a system of application or love-earning strategies, they’re fences for our protection. As much as I write this I rebel against it. I don’t like hearing “NO”. I don’t like fences. It’s unAmerican and unPostmodern (as if those were excellent arguments).

So, in the area of ambition, what’s the real danger?

As always (again), the issue/answer/real topic must be about our hearts: What is it in our own ambition that affects our hearts the most? That, I believe, can only be individually answered, but we do have tangible clues, both in our own day-to-day and in biblical example—neither of which I’ll digress into.

The real impetus for this incomprehensible blog was the following thought: in my own dealings with this, ambition is always a false promise: its benefits are never reached. Pursuit of such is always a long treading of a longer road I never reach the end of. Not that people don’t achieve it; not that I haven’t achieved my own short goals at various times—those things happen with regular frequency. What I mean is that the road to ambition in my life looks more like an emergency off-ramp than it does a proper path. It leads UP and AWAY, but TO quagmire more than it does prosperity—I think for the reason that ambition recalibrates my priorities.

When I put ME (either personally or professional) as the focus of my actions, suddenly LIFE is calculated with new scales, measures, priorities and goals that begin to push out the rest, trust and dependence I feel called to Biblically.

I don’t think these are mutually exclusive; I’m not against pursuing business endeavors and personal betterment. I’m simply admitting that I haven’t found the balanced path between those things and my personal walk with God. I tread too easily on Martha’s path and never rest in Mary’s hammock. Maybe this only polarizes the issue without bringing any clarity.

Maybe one shouldn’t blog unless they know what they want to say beforehand.

Maybe.

~ by joshuacreative on July 2, 2008.